Experience

In a nutshell, the act of self-life writing amounts to nothing more than relating one’s experiences by re-telling the occurrences of a life through the interpretation of memories, thoughts, interpersonal relations, and ideologies that an individual has encountered since the beginning of his or her existence. Experience is the knowledge of and process of obtaining knowledge of our lives that can then be memorized, analyzed, and perceived in a number of different ways. Our experiences can be shaped or guided by cultural, social, or historical processes that constitute the reality of our lives. These processes that influence our experiences enable individuals to claim some kind of identity or assert agency as a conscious being that demonstrates a certain degree of knowledge gained from the past. Smith and Watson write that “Experience is the very process through which a person becomes a certain kind of subject owning certain identities in the social realm, identities constituted through material, cultural, economic, and psychic relations” (RA 31). They allude to Joan Scott’s essay on experience by quoting “It is not individuals who have experience, but subjects who are constituted through experience” (RA 31). Experience can be used to establish authenticity or to assert authority. Smith and Watson attribute a discursive nature to forms of experience in autobiographical act by claiming “narrators become readers of their experiential histories, bringing discursive schema that are culturally available to them to bear on what has happened.

Alexi Sherman’s “The Unauthorized Autobiography of Me” is a great example of the how narrators bring discursive cultural, social, and ethnic schema to the fore when writing about identity through the interpretation of past experiences. Alexi Sherman attempts to relate what it means to identify one’s self as a Native American through past experiences. In this article Sherman illustrates how Native Americans have become assimilated into mainstream society. However, despite the significant extent of cultural diffusion that has taken place, Alexi acknowledges the tension that persists between ‘average’ Americans and Indians through certain passages of his that make palpable distinctions between his intended audiences such as “There are only two million Indians living in this country. We could all fit into one medium-sized city. We should look into it” (Sherman 12). He beseeches the reader to consider if they have ever walked into a room full of people that do not like them. He juxtaposes interactions between different ethnic groups to ultimately prove that experience is subjective.

-Personal Take:

I have lots of experience. Maybe not in the way you think about experience. However, that’s just it, experience is subjective. One way in which I consider myself experienced lies in the notion that I know how to enjoy not looking for experience. Don’t get me wrong, I love to experience new things, go new places, and meet new people. I am talking about living my life with a fluidity that is achieved when you simply enjoy the ride. Life is temporary so sit back, relax, and get comfortable. I am not asking you to be inactive, but rather to pursue your life at a pace dictated by the natural flow of how the world presents itself to you. Let the world experience you. You dictate the course of your life through the conscious decisions you make. I have suffered setbacks and traumatic experiences that have altered the way I think about and perceive the world around me, but I refuse to change the way in which I experience life for myself. Only I get to decide what experiences constitute my identity. Just because terrible things have happened to me in the past does not mean that I have to carry around these experiences like dead weight dragging me down every time they emerge in the form of some memory. For example, a soldier who has seen combat does not get to chose if they have PTSD. My brother had PTSD when he returned from Afghanistan and would have nervous breakdowns and anxiety attacks. His experiences with war may have changed the way he experiences life, but not how he experiences life for himself. He told me that these episodes came and went, and that if they came back again he would deal with them as they came. The lesson here is to not let your experiences control your life, assert some agency. The reason I say I have lots of experience is because I have experienced hardships and disasters in my life, and yet I let the negative chi, if you will, roll right over me. Sure, I have to deal with memories of these events and feel the stern emotions they provoke when recollecting on my past experiences. However, I actively chose to let the experiences that I do not want to become part of my identity, or my essence, to simply wash over me like the ocean tide at the shore line.

 There is an exquisite sea shell near the water on the beach. It basks in the sun like and soaks up the rays of life. However, the tide starts coming in and the ocean water begins to wash over the shell and then recede back. The shell remains there, it has only become wet, or soaked by the experience of the incoming tide. Its essence has not changed, it remains a shell. Eventually the tide rises so that the shell is not constantly underwater. As the tide moves ever forwards the waves begin breaking where the shell resides on the bottom underneath the water. The turbulence of the crashing waves causes the shell to move, and the shell gets caught in the commotion of the current. The shell is then tossed around, sent here and there, until once again, it comes full cycle to the shore where it remains the same shell. If for some odd reason you didn’t see this coming, I am the shell. The ocean is life and the incoming and outgoing tides are experience. Life comes at me and I get moved—uncontrollably—this way and that, but I have experience in fluidity. I do not fight the current nor accept where it puts me. Life throws experiences at me whether I like them or not and I am forced to go places I don’t want to go, and yet I am the same exquisite shell. A shell may be scratched or chipped by the movement of the tide, but its essence remains unchallenged, it is still a shell. I try to not let the experiences in life control me, and yet they often do. However, when it’s all said and done, my essence is unchanged. The essence of me—my true self—allows me to take away what I want from the experiences in my life and leave behind whatever I don’t want to become a part of my essence. That is why I am experienced; I live with fluidity. And that is why I say sit back, relax, and get comfortable; because if you fight the tides of life you will loose. You can dictate the course of your life even if you can’t control it by choosing how you ride the tide. 

-Joe Fleming